Crying at the Superstore
I spent the weekend crying. Ok, not every minute of each day, but enough that that’s how it feels to me. I don’t consider myself to be a highly weep-y woman. You know the sort I’m talking about…crying at every Hallmark commercial, every worship service, and every time their feelings get hurt. I like to think that I am pretty balanced emotionally, but there are moments in my life when something touches me deeply and then the waterworks just keep coming. I guess this weekend is one of those times.
It started with a friend of mine experiencing a pretty major, unexpected disappointment. And I found myself just terribly saddened for him, almost as if I was going through it myself. Weird, I know, but it happened. Perhaps this is taking the whole “bearing each other’s burdens” to an extreme, but nevertheless, I was burdened so I kept praying. And crying. Yep, even in the middle of the Superstore. There I am in the milk aisle with tears streaming down my face. I actually wasn’t even all that embarrassed. I am not prone to this sort of behavior and it almost felt freeing to be able to just let my emotions come, even if the location was less than ideal.
Then the reading material I had chosen for the weekend was Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. I won’t ruin the book for those of you who haven’t read it, but it is obvious that by the end, the main character is going to die. I knew this in advance myself, and yet by Friday night, I sat bawling on the couch anyway. I had been sitting in the living room with Jeff and the poor man finally left me there to cry. I think he was just trying to give me the space I needed. That, or he just didn’t know what to say to me!
Saturday night Katie and I drove to and then snuck into the WOD Women’s Conference in Niagara Falls. My friend, Jess Disabatino was the speaker and I really wanted to be there to support her and also to have a night to allow the Lord to speak to me. Yep, the tears just kept flowing. The worship was great and then the Rumble Kids choir from Jess’ church sang a few songs. These are inner city kids with lives 1000’s of times worse than mine. God used them to breathe into my spirit, and I am grateful. Jess’ message was on being a woman of influence and it was fabulous. I spent some time with Jesus at the altar and lelt feeling so stirred up and excited about how He wants to use me in the lives of my neighbors and my church.
I certainly don’t want to spend every weekend with tears in my eyes (it’s really horrible for my mascara-wearing self!), but I am thankful for the reminder that my vulnerability puts me in a much better place to hear from Jesus. I am certainly often too stoic for my own good.